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Redwood Falls Gazette - Redwood Falls - MN
  • Hit and run fever dreams

  • To the old man hit-and-run driver who struck a teenaged girl on a bike at the corner of DeKalb and Bridge Streets on Monday afternoon — for what it’s worth, that girl was my daughter.
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  • To the old man hit-and-run driver who struck a teenaged girl on a bike at the corner of DeKalb and Bridge Streets on Monday afternoon — for what it’s worth, that girl was my daughter.
    You might be glad to hear she wasn’t damaged too much — just some bad bruises and scrapes. She said she saw you turning your head to look at her as you drove by, so I assume you must have noticed her.
    Still, it would have been the decent thing if you had at least stopped and gotten out of your car to see if she was all right before you drove away.
    . . . . .
    Appearances can be deceiving, especially with weather.
    Last Wednesday morning I looked outside, saw it was gray and windy outside, and thought (paraphrase):
    “Ah! I see the outside weather conditions appear remarkably similar to what they did yesterday, when it was quite chilly and inclement! On that day I made the mistake of wearing clothing that was much too inadequate for cold weather, and as a result was unnecessarily cold all day!
    “But today I shall learn my lesson! Just based on my visual scan looking outside the window, I shall assume today’s weather conditions are identical with yesterday’s, and shall dress appropriately!
    “What’s that you say? Actually step outside for a moment and see what the weather is like? Get on the computer and see what the National Weather Service officially records the weather as being today?
    “Pish, tush! What need have I of such external verifications of my own sense’s judgements?
    “No, a thousand times no! I shall just wear a SWEATSHIRT today so that I shall now be cold the way I was yesterday, when the weather’s visual appearance was similar to what I see outside my window at this very moment! Ha ha!”
    Well, if you were in town that day you know the rest. I very quickly figured out that, despite appearances, it was another hot, humid day.
    Very quickly I was sweltering, sitting at work doing last-minute stuff while feeling the same way I do when I’m was sick with a temperature of at least 103 degrees.
    Luckily my wife’s office is just a block away from the Gazette, so I was able to run over at lunch time and say, “You remember those t-shirts you had printed up for Christmas by Candlelight? Do you have any of them sitting around?”
    Ahh, blessed, blessed t-shirt. Someday I’m going to get this “dress in layers” concept down for sure. Maybe I’ll even learn to actually step outside in the mornings and everything.
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    Maybe this was just my fevered imagination, but someone told me once that there was a type of cake frosting that has mayonnaise in it. It’s supposed to give the cake a certain extra “tang.”
    Now does this ring true to anyone? I know there are a lot of crazy cooks out there, but is there anyone insane enough to ruin a perfectly good batch of frosting by putting mayonnaise in it?
    Sometimes inquiring minds would rather not find out....
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