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Redwood Falls Gazette - Redwood Falls - MN
  • Those special moments in life

  • Do two negative thoughts cancel each other out and become one positive though?
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  • Several years ago, Jackie Lueck told me you’re not a true parent until you’ve caught your child’s vomit in your bare hands.
    Well, I almost got that opportunity last week.
    One of the girls was feeling that nasty flu that’s been going around, and said something along the lines of, “I think I’m going to throw up.”
    I hopped up out of my chair and went running.
    “Ooo, ooo! Let me catch it in my bare hands so I can be a true parent!” I said, cupping my hands under her chin.
    She looked at me oddly and decided maybe she didn’t need to throw up that much after all.
    Shucks. Now I still have to feel as if I’m missing out on something special.
    (Note to parents: catching another child’s vomit in your bare hands doesn’t count. If your kid is about to throw up, don’t grab him and come running at me to save the day. You’re on your own.)
    . . . . .
    The More Things Change Dept.:
    Exactly 100 years ago from the day this post was posted, the Gazette printed its ag magazine.
    Probably a hundred years from today, whatever format the Gazette is in then will contain an article about how to keep tribbles out of your quadrotriticale.
    . . . . .
    (How politicians and economics reporters think....)
    Newscaster: “Today the Obama administration announced it would completely eliminate poverty in the United States by minting 320 million coins worth a trillion dollars each, and giving one to every American.
    “And in other economic news, today the price of a candy bar unexpectedly rose to a million dollars, the price of a hamburger unexpectedly rose to $50 million, the price of a new car unexpectedly rose to a billion dollars....”
    . . . . .
    Do two negative thoughts cancel each other out and become one positive though?
    That’s what you get for teaching me algebra.

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