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Redwood Falls Gazette - Redwood Falls - MN
  • What passes for deep thoughts

  • Someday I want to come up with a special term to help me from going crazy when I don’t remember to fill my tires with air while I’m suffering from a lung inflammation.
    I’ll call it my psychotic pneumatic pneumonic mnemonic.
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  • John Lennon’s song “Beautiful Boy” has a line that’s always stayed with me:
    “Life is what happens to you
    While you’re busy making other plans....”
    Well, I must have lived a lot this past week, because almost nothing I planned to do during it ever happened.
    Now I’m confused about whether I should feel a sense of accomplishment or not.
    On the one hand, I look at my to-do list and feel I haven’t done anything this week.
    On the other hand, it’s because I’ve been so %(#@*&!! busy.
    • • • • •
    Every evening, two members of the Dixon family usually not chosen at random take the two dogs out for a walk.
    I’m afraid I have bad news to report. In the past month, we’ve three times encountered skunks while out walking the dogs.
    All three times were up in the neighborhood around Reede Gray Elementary School, the Methodist Church, and the Redwood Area Hospital.
    Twice I personally saw the skunks skulking around peoples’ homes. Luckily for us, they chose to duck around the corner of the houses when they saw us.
    The third time I wasn’t on that particular walk, and only heard about it afterward from one of the participants (not one of the dogs, obviously.)
    We haven’t been sprayed yet, but that’s more luck than skill.  
    I  will say nothing encourages aerobic activity like having a schnauzer (who was bred to hunt rodents, remember) suddenly bark hysterically and lunge to the end of his leash at a startled-looking skunk 40 feet away.
    • • • • •
    Nine or ten years ago my car was totaled while I was waiting at an intersection in town. I was waiting to make a left turn, and a another driver cut his turn short and slammed directly into the front of my car.
    I was injured in the crash, walking away with several broken ribs and a damaged knee, and had to buy a new car on short notice.
    But whenever I think back on that day, my biggest regret — the one thing that stands out in my mind first — is I had just filled the gas tank a couple hours earlier.
    I can let a lot of things go, but to my dying day I’ll always regret losing that tank of gas.
    • • • • •
    Someday I want to come up with a special term to help me from going crazy when I don’t  remember to fill my tires with air while I’m suffering from a lung inflammation.
    Page 2 of 2 - I’ll call it my psychotic pneumatic pneumonic mnemonic.
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    Question to ask your kindergartner: if a dog and a cat had children together, what would their kids look like? What would they be called?

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