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Redwood Falls Gazette
  • Change in an Ovaltine jar

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    You’ve probably heard the expression “Free speech isn’t free.”


    What if that were literally true? What if each word you said cost you, say, a quarter?

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  •   From all the movies and TV shows about them, you’d think hit men would be a lot more common than they are. . . . . . One thing small children feel very strongly about is their favorite color.  When you have so little control over your life otherwise, getting to have some say over whether you get the red or the blue sippy cup can be a big deal. . . . . . People get phobias about the weirdest things. I imagine there’s probably someone out there with a crippling fear about getting a paper cut. Can you imagine living your life going to desperate lengths to ensure you never, ever, ever get a paper cut? . . . . . Some people want to know what comes after infinity. I want to know what comes before it. I mean, what is the starting point for “infinity”? Zero? One?  One point zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, etc., until you get to the one-number-less than infinite number of zeros before first point-one? And when you’re tabulating infinity, do you take into account negative numbers? Is there a minus-infinity, with zero balanced in the middle like the hinge in the middle of a teeter-totter? Math is fascinating to me, for probably all the wrong reasons. . . . . . You’ve probably heard the expression “Free speech isn’t free.” What if that were literally true? What if each word you said cost you, say, a quarter? Would that change the way you speak? How about if it were a dollar? . . . . . Several weeks ago I wrote about how I’d sorta, kinda misplaced my wedding ring. I also said I wasn’t too worried since it would turn up eventually. Everything always does. Well, this morning (Friday), I took my old Ovaltine jar full of loose change in to the bank to be converted into bills, as I do several times a year. When the teller handed back the jar it continued, in addition to $28.74, my wedding ring. Apparently I took the ring off for some reason, like to wash dishes or something, and dropped it in my pocket for safe keeping. Then that evening, I just reached into my pocket and tossed that day’s loose change into the Ovaltine jar, like I always do, along with the ring, See? Things always turn up.

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