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Redwood Falls Gazette
  • I?can prove you all are lying

  •   I?do not text, and if I?even had a cell phone I?am very confident I would not do it even then. Why, you might ask, would one whose business is centered on the concept of communication avoid what has been the most prevalent form of people disseminating information to each othe...
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  •   I?do not text, and if I?even had a cell phone I?am very confident I would not do it even then. Why, you might ask, would one whose business is centered on the concept of communication avoid what has been the most prevalent form of people disseminating information to each other in recent years? The answer is simple. I?hate texting, because it teaches bad habits when it comes to everything from spelling to grammar. Yes, I know plenty of you out there have seen myriad occasions when I?have made spelling mistakes and grammatical errors, but those errors were not intentional. Bad spelling, ridiculous abbreviations and poor grammatical practices are not only accepted in texting, they seem to be encouraged. In many ways texting has become a language to itself, and I?for one have absolutely no intention of learning it. While I?am on the topic of texting, I?want to make another issue abundantly clear. I?know each of you who text are lying, especially if you live in this part of Minnesota. How do I?know? Three letters – LOL. Having spent all but two years of my life calling southwest Minnesota home, I?feel I?have a pretty good grasp on people, and I know the reserved nature of a good Minnesotan would never allow them to LOL. For those of you who have not yet joined the world of texting, the word LOL is not really a word at all. It actually means laugh out loud, and, from what I?understand, is sent as a response to a joke or some other text with a humorous bent. I have been around enough southwestern Minnesotans to know not one of them would ever laugh out loud, especially in a room full of other Minnesotans of the same ilk. Why would you tell someone you are laughing out loud in a text when you know deep down a guffaw that caused any bodily movement or drew attention to you would never happen. Rather than use the LOL acronym in the future, I?would suggest you use more realistic and truthful words to describe your emotional state at a good joke. Perhaps something like chuckle reservedly under one’s breath (CRUB). To me just saying the word is enough to CRUB, don’t you think. Then one would not only know the true Minnesota way to text but it would keep you from any future criminal action for providing false information over the digital airways. I sure hope you all CRUB at that one. I?know I sure did. … After offering a few comments this past Thursday regarding the ELCA, I?received an e-mail from a familiar name to many of you in the Redwood area. Rollen Halvorson of Alexan-dria, who served as the pastor at Gloria Dei Lutheran Church in Redwood Falls for a number of years, wrote, “You write that regarding the ELCA: people could ‘stay with the church to try and make changes you think are needed.’  That is good reason to stay with any church.  None is perfect or who of us could belong?  But there are two even more important reasons not to pull back, leave or disaffiliate.  First, the unity of the church as is the expressed will and prayer of the Lord, and second, divisions within churches and dividing churches are  terrible, terrible and destructive witnesses to the Lord and the Gospel.” While I?definitely agree with this sentiment, I?also want to add there is a time and a place when issues become so obviously contradictory to the Lord and his gospel where that message of truth is compromised. When the Words of God are twisted to fits one’s own agenda or are ignored completely I?would say the ends would justify the means. … Remember to check out some of the new things we are doing on the Gazette Web site. If you have other ideas, let me know.

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